The age old human tradition of man chasing woman is rooted in the caveman period. Nowadays in Ireland and other modern societies it is quite common and acceptable for the girl to do just as much of the shovel work as the former pursuer might. How much pursuing is too much and when do you say “enough” [screw this] and move on to another?
As I live in Italy, weeks and even months of pursuing is normal if a little outdated. A girl may indicate interest in the usual conscious and unconscious ways such as flirty comments or huge eyes watching your every move. Then if the man wants to continue this charade he must pursue and he must be prepared for a mammoth struggle.
A decision to couple up is not taken lightly in this repressed, socially peculiar country, so the female especially will take great joy in the elongating of the pre-courtship period, one which may prove endless.
Once you’ve exchanged numbers and then later messages, you’ll expect to meet up. If nothing transpires in the first meeting it may not mean that all hope of a hook up is doomed, it merely means that she enjoys time being spent on her (what girl doesn’t). She may keep you abreast of her intentions by calling and/or messaging you the next day to meet again.
On the next meeting again nothing may happen and man’s worst enemy, frustration, will lift its sordid head. The fine line now appears: if another meeting passes without some progression then the guy may look elsewhere, or he may patiently await one final meeting.
This charade is seldom played out in the modern world of open minded, socially adroit people for long. The man must be given the right obvious signals and when I say obvious I mean blatant. The girl must then receive the right advances, consistent and courteous.
If you meet someone that revels in the chase and gives no sign of progression then why not procure an ice cream and drive their nose into it forcibly, as you will have just wasted some valuable days of your finite life. Forget it, move on, and pursue a modern thinking, socially open, worthy object of your desires.
John P Brady writes fiction, articles and a blog about life in Italy, where he has chosen to make his home. His first book, a collection, entitled Back to the Gaff has been recently published by Roadside Fiction. It concerns the wild happenings in Dublin by night and documents the attitudes of the youth in modern Irish society. Keep up to date with his writing by subscribing:
Back to the Gaff
Scandalous Narratives of Contemporary Ireland
Back to the Gaff is a book by new author John P Brady, which describes the excessive and outrageous nature of Irish night life. Meet an array of eccentric individuals who populate the bars of Dublin, living lives of decadence and abandon. Their frolics inevitably lead to a trip ‘back to the gaff,’ which in Dublin-speak means gravitating towards someone’s place of residence where the depravity continues.
Ebook and Paperback available: